Lying in bed
Gutted out hollow
Stones
Pounds of them
Piles of them
Fill my torso to my neck
Rendering me, much like the rocks which now dominate
both in percentage and mass,
Heavy. and still.
As a paperweight inside a drawstring pouch
Simply fulfills it's singular intention and is at peace

Heaven in Hell

Heaven in Hell

Soundcloud

LaurieLehner

Break Ur Mould (rough demo track)

Break Your Mould (by Laurie Lehner)

Conversations w/ my Better Self (Break Ur Mould)

I look at myself like I'm somebody else
And I'm observing this situation from somewhere faraway
And I talk to myself like I am somebody else
Somebody tellin me that it's gonna be alright
Somebody beggin me to fight the fight

I've been here before, when I was somebody else
And I might be back this way again
But by then I'll be someone new
And I'll give it another try cause that's all I can do
But if I come back I'm comin back for you

And I know you're gonna take me to that other place
Cause I see the invitation written on your face
Tho I can't make out all your letters
I believe I'm getting better now I know the way

And I'd like to think it's by your side where I belong
Cause I helped you write the lyrics to your siren song
And if you wanna get em all to know your name
And you're still losin at your own game
You might be playin wrong

I wanna blow on your dice before you throw your roll
I wanna send all your circuits into overload
I wanna spark your fuse then I wanna watch you explode
I wanna get out ya way so you could take your shot
And I'll bet your bottom dollar that it's all you got

I wanna break your silence and then I wanna break your mould

And I know you wanna take me to that other place
Cause I see the implications written on your face
And if you wanna get him at his little game
Because you got yourself a little fame
You might be playin wrong

I wanna blow on your dice before you throw your roll
I wanna send all your circuits into overload
I wanna spark your fuse then I wanna watch you explode
I wanna get in your way so when you take your shot
You get alla this cause alla this is whatcha got

I wanna break your silence and then I wanna break your mould

I wanna blow on your dice before you throw your roll
I wanna send all your circuits into overload
I wanna spark your fuse then I wanna watch you explode
I wanna get out ya way so you could take your shot
And I'll bet your bottom dollar that it's all you got

I wanna break your silence and then I wanna break your mould

(I look at myself like I'm somebody else
And I talk to myself like I am somebody else
Somebody on their knees beggin me to fight
Somebody tellin me that it's gonna be alright)

(I've been here before, when I was somebody else
And I might be back this way again
But by then I'll be someone new
And I'll give it another try cause baby that's all you or I can do)
But if I come back
If I come back

I'm gonna blow on your dice before you throw your roll
I'm gonna send all your circuits into overload
I'm gonna spark your fuse then I'm gonna watch you explode
I'm gonna get out ya way so you could take your shot
And I'll bet your bottom dollar if that's all you got

I'm gonna break your silence and then I'm gonna break your mould

I wanna blow on your dice before you throw your roll
I wanna send all your circuits into overload
I wanna spark your fuse then I wanna watch you explode
I wanna get out ya way so you could take your shot
And I'll bet you your last dollar that it's all you got
I wanna break your silence
I wanna break your silence

I'm gonna break your silence
and then I'm gonna break your mould

Heaven in Hell

Heaven In Hell

You got me singin your song then you change the key
I see you lookin around are you through with me
You need a new pair of eyes now to set you free
It's not like I can't recall how this all used to be

You see her dancin for you buried in the crowd
You know you like it when she calls your name out loud
You sing, you smile and you stare and she blows a kiss
Goes home and writes you a song and it goes like this

Every moment of you feels like Heaven In Hell (da da da da da da da da da)
I got all the freedom I need here when I'm locked in this prison cell
You're a very bad man, but you do it so well (now now now now)
That every moment of you feels like Heaven In Hell

You're so hot when you're cold, you're the fire in the ice
The deep freeze, it burns me, but it feels so nice
You paint a smile on my face
You're not breakin my heart
If Mona Lisa's worth more
As Leonardo's art then

Every moment of you feels like Heaven In Hell (da da da da da da da da da)
I got all the freedom I need here when I'm locked in your prison cell
You're a very bad man, but you do it so well (now now now now)
That every moment of you feels like Heaven In Hell

Baby when I buy a ticket to your show
I don't complete with the blonde in the second row
Do I gotta tell you a thing you already know
I think I'm losin control...

I took you, you took me to a higher place
And we came down in the dodo's caucus race
You lit a fire at my heel, I walk at a quicker pace
So you can lag behind in your swagger
Because you like the chase

Now every moment of you feels like Heaven In Hell
(da da da da da da da da da)
I got all the freedom I need here when I'm locked in your prison cell
You're a very bad man, but you do it so well (now now now now)
That every moment of you feels like Heaven In Hell

Feels like Heaven in Hell
(da da da da da da da da da)
(da da da da da da da da da)

(da da da da)

Arson

All I remeber is the smell, the taste of embers in my face, the wall of yellow light, the crackle, the height, the song that I was humming as I detonate the night. Mmmm...
Well, I'm dancing in this cage and I bang my knees up and they bruise for days and I don't know why there's blood on the floor and I don't recall the sound of my own breath anymore. And I looked to you, and you showed me the sky and said, "I shot you down because you flew too high". And the key turned and my eyes burned and I heard the music play, Mmmm...
If there's a chance I could get away
It passed long before this song I sing today.
I can't fly, run, got no shotgun then I heard the voices say... 'Arson'
Mmmm...
Keep breathing into the flame. It isn't real, it's just a game and we're all gonna die anyway. Keep breathing with your face to the floor. It's only believing that you aren't you anymore.
I will not act or play stupid for fools, blind to the machine can't see we're just working tools while you use me to my full extent, while I say 'Please' and 'Thank You' and wonder where I went. And you can't take it. And you can't take it down. And you can't take this fire from me until I burn this shit to the ground.
All I remeber is the smell, the taste of embers in my face, the wall of yellow light, the crackle, the height, the song that I was humming as I detonate the night. Mmmm...

Summer 2011 in Washington Square Park

Dear Ex-Boyfriend on Facebook,

Dear Ex-Boyfriend on Facebook,
It's fine that you exist
I just don't want to see your updates on my newsfeed list
It's not so bad I'd 'block' you,
Or even 'unfriend',
I'll just 'unsubscribe your updates'
And be right as rain again

But to 'unsubscribe your updates'
I gotta visit your Facebook page
Which means I have to click
That little icon of your face,
being kissed by your new girlfriend
I really hate her face
The thought of you together makes me-
-CLICK-
-CLICK-
Oh shit, I clicked your photos
I don't know how that happened
I don't wanna see that you're happy
Or god forbid with HER
Oh look! It's you and your new girlfriend
Vacationing together
I guess 'things are getting serious'
Despite your relationship status......
-CLICK-

So now it's finally over
The Facebook deed is done
And I have 'one new notification'
-CLICK-

Dear Ex-Boyfriend's new girlfriend on Facebook,
I hate that you exist
And we know all the same people
Even though we are not friends
I get to see when we both comment
On a photograph
Of a friend of mine slash friend of his
Wearing a funny hat (on New Year's)
Evil takes the form of me and him together, true
But Hell hath no idea what fury is when I see you
And your new boyfriend on Facebook
And so it's come to this
Cause it really bums me out all day
To see your name or his
So, Dear Ex-"Bf" on "Fb",
Our time has come and passed
As noted by your 'Timeline',
Which, forgive me,
Looks like crap
I still get invites to your band gigs,
I know how you guys rock,
But if you don't want my love
Then you don't get my 'Like' on Facebook,
'-BLOCK-'.

Dear Ex-Boyfriend on Facebook

Dear Ex-Boyfriend on Facebook,
It's fine that you exist
I just don't want to see your updates on my newsfeed list
It's not so bad I'd 'block' you,
Or even 'unfriend',
I'll just 'unsubscribe your updates'
And be right as rain again

But to 'unsubscribe your updates'
I gotta visit your Facebook page
Which means I have to click
That little icon of your face,
being kissed by your new girlfriend
I really hate her face
And the thought of you together makes me-
-CLICK-
-CLICK-
Oh shit, I clicked your photos
I don't know why I did that
I don't wanna see that you're happy
Or god forbid with HER
Oh look! It's you and your new girlfriend
Vacationing together
I guess 'things are getting serious'
Despite your 'relationship status'......
-CLICK-

So now it's finally over
The Facebook deed is done
And I have 'one new notification'
-CLICK-

Dear Ex-Boyfriend's new girlfriend on Facebook,
I hate that you exist
And we know all the same people
Even though we are not friends
I get to see when we both comment
On a photograph
Of a friend of mine slash friend of his
Wearing a funny hat (on New Year's)
Evil takes the form of me and him together, true
But Hell hath no idea what fury is when I see you
And your new boyfriend on Facebook
And so it's come to this
Cause it really bums me out all day
To see your name or his
So, Dear Ex-"Bf" on "Fb",
Our time has come and passed
As noted by your 'Timeline',
Which, forgive me,
Looks like crap
I still get invites to your band gigs,
I know how you guys rock,
But if you don't want my love
Then you don't get my 'Like' on Facebook,
'-BLOCK-'.

I stole this pic.

1/21/12

I've Got Nothing
Arsen
Heaven in Hell
Risk
Charade
Broken Cup
Keys
Waterfall
Mad Hatter
drink&drink
Hurricane


Bonus Track:
Keanu.

Drink&Drink

28


^^^click me^^^



http://soundcloud.com/ivak4eto/28-1#share

7

7


^^^(click me)^^^

HURRICANE.


(Made with GarageBand. Clear version. Best with headphones)

http://soundcloud.com/ivak4eto/7-1?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=blogger&utm_content=http://soundcloud.com/ivak4eto/7-1

Hurricane

I like this

Today

was the most perfect, magical, satisfying day.

A very Happy Birthday

to the love of my life.

Who have I yet to meet? 6/16/07

In moments passing
When I look back to find these days explained
Who will have had an unmistakeable presence there?
Who have I yet to meet
But already know better than anyone?

'I knew you then as I know you now'
Little girl spoke aloud to an empty room
These words that would not be silent
Its been a while but I remember now
I remember how I was telling them
To you

And you,
What I find in every, every breath
This moment is all moments
Little girl of 23
Wrap your mind around it
This body that knows your body,
(it isn't so strange)
Remembers moments with you that have yet to be
The curve of your back
The strength in your arms
The way you wrap them around me

I'm just living it for the first time
I'm just remembering it today
I think I wasn't ready for the things you had to say
It was you, who led myself to me
When you led myself to you...

And I am different now

Lately 6/12/07

Lately
I wake up knowing I've missed something
I'm late.
It's passing me by and I
Am still in bed
I must have been asleep forever
It feels wrong
Too long
I reach for my alarm and it goes off in my hand
I find myself searching for
Seeing metaphor
Where there may be none
Some kind of meaning
Dreaming wide awake

Battle For the Seventh Day 2007

Betrayed by their kings they gather in the streets
Still holding to their plans and things
Holding hands and things
Happened here today
They said our innocence has gone away

And they're talking to each other
About how far they're gonna walk
And they're talking to each other
And all they do is talk

Just Friends 2005

Hey, Mr. Articulate, way to blatantly misuse the word friend
Oh, I see, a 'friend' you turn your back on when she's ill
I swear, I've had my fill of chasing you around
Because recently I've found that all it gets me
Is the back of your head
This is coming from a friend
You know the one who sleeps with you at night
Who tells you, 'it's alright, you're brilliant,
And someday soon the world will see'
I'm something of a novelty, a guarantee,
A constant validation for your low self-esteem

And then you say the word "friend"
And it instantly infuriates
The manic that that word creates
Inside of me is something obscene
I mean, it's mean
The way you're stringing me along
I guess I'm partly in the wrong
For sticking with you when you said "don't invest"
Was it a test? Did I pass? Is this school?
Disclaimers don't make you exempt for breaking the rules
It was cruel, and somehow you think it's got me fooled
You use it as a tool so you can disappear then show up again
And pretend that we're not more than just friends

And Hey, Mr. inconspicuous,
I guess that we're just friends who kiss
I don't think that my 'friendship' is the thing that you'd miss
Gotta love how you insist, Mr. Retro-misogynist,
You're never gonna settle down
You flash your shit all over town
And Mr. Non-Committal, that shit will get old fast

I think your acting like a child, Mr. Denial
Why not accept responsibility for being
Who you wanna be instead of making me feel
Like I'm not good enough?
I'm sure it's tough have women fall all over you
I guess the best that you can do is screw them
Then come looking for me
Can't wait to see your face
Now I don't need you anymore
I'll walk my ass right out your door
And when you realize that I'm not at your command
And I won't be there to hold you in the night
And tell you it's alright
When I'm not there waiting in the palm of you hand
Then we'll see just how you get on by yourself
When I'm not sitting on you shelf to pick up
When you're lonely again
When I tell you
I'm not your fucking friend.